Sometimes, being robbed is just part of being a missionary.
No story; Matthew just likes starting his emails with random provocative statements. He's also been reading the scriptures too much; this week's email was written in "Book of Mormon-ese".
He observed that his past 4 wards have had 1, 2, 3, and now 4 sets of missionaries in them. His new companion goes home next transfer, and doesn't have far to go since his parents are just north of Dallas.
Matthew's now on the "referral team" -- missionaries that are in charge of following up media referals on the phone before dispatching missionaries to their door.